PDA

This acronym can refer to "personal digital assistant" and it can refer to "progressive democrats of America"....and it can even refer to "parental drug association"....but today it will refer to "public displays of affection."

My roommate John teaches Sunday school. But he only teaches every other week. When it's not his week I have to figure out which class I should attend. Since I like variety, I switch out and attend a different class every week John doesn't teach. This last week my friend Adrianna said I should attend marriage prep with her and I said "why not." So, we went to that class.

Now, I sat at the back of the class. From my position I could look ahead at many of the happy couples while the lesson went on... and I was shocked. There were three couples that were just out of hand. Adrianna pointed to one that was kissing in Sunday school! We started to talk about how ridiculous this all was, and we started to define the boundaries of what would be okay. We went through all of the different things that we thought were okay: back rubs, hand around the chair, whispering in the ear, etc.

When we felt we had a pretty good handle on things we looked forward and there was a couple actively making out....in SUNDAY SCHOOL!

I just don't get this. Now, I recognize that I have the personality equivalent of a cold shower, but regardless, I can't imagine a time when this sort of behavior would be appropriate.

I decided that I needed to do something to break those two amorous Sunday school students up. I felt like I had a religious obligation to do this....so I turned to Adrianna, said "watch this" and I raised my hand.

I was called on.

Now, the topic of discussion was "meeting the needs of your partner through compromise" so I had to ask a question or make a comment dealing with this topic. My comment was this:

"I imagine it's very difficult for people to reach a compromise when displaying affection. Some people are very comfortable with this, others are not. I think a lot of the guys in my family are pretty awkward and stiff in this area. But I think we all get better over time. I know my dad is far more affectionate now than he was when I was a kid. I have a friend (always have a friend) who struggled to compromise in this area. He was sort of like me, kinda cold, and his girlfriend was very affectionate They constantly struggled to reach a compromise. She constantly wanted him to be more affectionate, everywhere they went. Of course, she never asked him for any sort of affection that was completely inappropriate, say, like kissing in Sunday school or something, but she did want him to hold her hand, or kiss her in a movie theater. He learned how to do this, and I think that compromise really helped them out, because being able to express how you feel in the way the person you care about wants you to express how you feel is very important."

Basically (although I agree with my comment) the whole purpose of the statement ws so I could say ""never asked for any sort of affection that was completely inappropriate, like kissing in Sunday school."

After my comment the inappropriate couple disengaged like the other one just contracted mono. It was pretty fun to watch. Adrianna started laughing while I was making my comment (I, thankfully, kept a straight face). Other than a sideways look at Adriana from the bishop's wife, we were in the clear.

But this got me thinking about public displays of affection.

This topic was in the back of my mind for the next little while. And the next day I was talking with my friend Chandler (who was in that Sunday School lesson) and I explained what I had done. We were laughing about it. He assured me that my comment only stood out to those who were so obviously not respecting the bounds of propriety.

As we were laughing about this we coincidentally came across two people making out on campus. I mean, this was passionate-- far more passionate than was appropriate in the middle of a crowded walkway...this guy was on this girl's face like a Rottweiler on a steak.

He had both hands on her face so that she couldn't turn away as he systematically made sure no portion of her face was untouched (or dry).

Because of the wonderful timing we just started laughing. I don't know if our laughing made the guy uncomfortable, but he seemed less amorous once two random guys walking by stopped and stared at him and started laughing.

When the guy looked over we gave him a thumbs up.

This of course brought up the topic in my mind again.

Here is where I think the line should be drawn. There is affection, and there is affection meant to say something.

It's good to show someone you care, and it's also good to show that you care in public because it's not something to be ashamed about. I think it's even endearing to share a quick kiss in public. The problem is what kind of kiss is shared. There are personal and public levels of affection. Kissing is fine, if it's a sort of kiss that says you care and that you love the other person. But if it's a kiss that says something more, if it's the sort of kiss that is associated with the sort of things you do in private, that kiss should take place in private.


What annoys me is when a guy tries to be affectionate in public like he's staking his territory or trying to make a point. That is really bothersome. His advances aren't even addressed at the girl, he was just trying to make a statement about his territory, and about how he's got a girl. That is even more than inappropriate, it's wrong.

But other that that, I think everything else is good. I think the limit is pretty clear. The action expresses an emotion, and if the emotion is a loving and affectionate one it's appropriate. If the action is passionate, then it should probably be reserved for a time and place where it is appropriate to express such.

Well, I better get back to work. Hope you all have a super day.