Tipping

I was reading the news this morning and I came across a story about a woman in North Carolina that was refused service because the restaurant knew she was a poor tipper. Now, I'm sure that there is more to this story than was conveyed in this article, but this facts alone, regardless of any other factors, annoys me.

From what I can tell from the story (and I hope I don't sound racist here) the patron was a large black lady. From the picture of her in the article she looks like the stereotypical angry large black lady (and this isn't me being racist...most comedies made by black comedians have this stereotypical large black lady...you know, the one that says things like "Oh no you didn't!" and "Don't make me come over there and smack you, because ( large black lady then speaks of herself in the third person) don't take no back talk from nobody! You must be tripping! etc. etc.)

So, if I can present the idea that there is a breed of outspoken, ridiculously abrasive black lady that is culturally acceptable and even lauded in the black community we can move on....and that's the sort of lady that was (from appearances) featured in this article....so it's possible that the people might have been somewhat justified in refusing her service (as self-defense). And it's possible that she was such a problem customer that they didn't want to serve her because they lost money (the staff said they wouldn't serve her (which usually implies that the customer treats them poorly, but the article didn't say this)).

Anyway, I'm sure they couldn't refuse her service outright (as they probably would have for a white person) because that would have quickly become a race issue. So, instead, they said they would refuse her service because she was a poor tipper.

And this brings me to the main problem....how can a place refuse service for being a bad tipper?

It is sorta funny cause in the article it said that the restaurant told her "we will not serve you if you are going to be a bad tipper. Before we serve you you must agree to paying an 18 percent gratuity for your party."

Let's now look at what tipping used to be, what tipping now is, and what we should do about it.

Tipping used to mean something. It was a way of saying thank you. If you received great service you'd tip the person. This used to be a way of telling your server that you appreciated them. However, as we continued to be nice (it makes us feel good to splurge a bit when we eat out) tipping became expected rather than a nice thing to do. Now, if you don't tip the server wonders if they did something wrong. This isn't what tipping was ever meant to be. Now, if we want to say "thank you, you did a great job" we need to leave a tip of around 25 percent of the meal price. So, every time we eat, in addition to the already high price of the meal, we have to pay an added percentage on top of the cost of the meal.

And restaurants aren't stupid. They knew that tipping had become mandatory...they knew that their servers were getting a lot of money on the side, and so they realized they could pay their servers less. And since we now paid their servers through our tips, they now had (nearly) free labor. So, restaurants certainly encouraged tipping. It made it so they could be on the server's side. They could pay their workers next to nothing and when the workers didn't get paid very well the owners could say "wow, I'm sorry your patrons were so cheap etc." When in reality they should be the ones paying them! I mean, it's not like tipping is an inherent need for anyone else doing their job. We don't (usually) tip the repair man (who also performs a service). We don't tip the doctor. We don't even tip all the people who give us food (I know I don't tip at McDonalds).

So, this ridiculous expectation made it so restaurants kept their prices the same, paid their servers less, and made a greater profit at the expense of customers...great deal.

Oh, and a funny thing: when you try to leave an especially large tip for a server they rarely get it anyway. Often the restaurants pool the tips....this goes completely against the idea of rewarding a specific person for a job well done. For this reason, if you wanna say thank you it's better to give the server something that they can't stick into the pool all the servers share (I think the pooling of tips started because some servers complained about unfairness since more attractive servers received better wages...but that's an entirely different subject)......anyway, my point is if you give the server something they can't share, like a gift certificate or something, at least you're rewarding them specifically.

Also, as the government realized that there was this tipping practice, the government (like the restaurant owners) realized they needed to take advantage of it. So, they started taxing tips horribly. This just doesn't make sense. If this is a kindness given from one person to another for a job well done (say like the kid next door mowing your lawn) that shouldn't be something that is taxed. The formalization of tipping (and it's necessity) was set in stone once it was taxed.

Honestly, I think this whole thing is ridiculous. I always laugh when I read the bill for a larger group where they charge "gratuity" as part of the bill. Does anyone even know what gratuity means? Well, here's the definition:

1) A gift or reward.
2) Something given without claim or obligation.

So, by definition, if gratuity is added to a bill because of a group size, that's not gratuity. It can't be by definition. This becomes a service tax. So, if we're gonna charge a mandatory gratuity, it's not gratuity, lets not call it gratuity, lets call it what it is: a euphemism for a service charge.

Anyway, my main point is that this story demonstrates how far the idea of tipping has gone. How it's now something that is required, and that the purpose of the whole thing has disappeared. And who do we blame? Well, I blame greedy restaurants. I think that what they should do is pay the servers properly and raise the price of food.

But no, instead they just leave it to us, make us feel like we have some sort of control, make us feel like we're actually being kind.

But Kant and any other moralist would tell you, if you feel you have to do something, and you're not acting from a good will (you just don't wanna look bad etc.) then the act itself is not inherently good.

So to sum all this up. Tipping use to mean something, now it's become a ridiculous expectation perpetuated by greedy restaurants.

Okay, so what should we do? Well, there is a famous scene in Reservoir Dogs (which I can't recommend because it's a rated R Tarrantino film) where a bunch of gangsters talk about tipping. One of them (played by Steve Buscemi) says that he doesn't tip and he makes a pretty logical argument as to why. One of the other gangsters rebuts him and says "waitressing is the number one paying job for women without a college degree--most of them single mothers. We have a moral obligation to tip."

I think there might be some weight to this. Now, regardless of what the system has become, we can't change it. I certainly can't change it by not tipping. If I don't tip people won't think my action is a positive declaration against the unfair practices of restaurants...they'll just think I"m cheap or unappreciative.

So, since I don't want to misrepresent myself... I tip. I give 15 percent every time, and since I give the same amount every time I imagine to myself that it's an eating out tax....and if the server is really good I give more and think of that as a tip. In my head the world is working as it should....if only in there.

Anyway, that's the article I read today and that's my rant about it. Thanks for reading. It's Friday night and I'm about to go eat out ( I started this post this morning in class but I only had time to finish it now).....so, I'm off to pay a tip.