Twilight Writing Contest

Hey Everyone,
Today at church someone came up to me and handed me a flyer for a writing contest and recommended that I enter. It's a contest done through BYU. Here's what the flyer said:

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This contest, inspired by the upcoming release of Stephenie Myer's second movie, "New Moon," is an opportunity for BYU students to test their writing mettle against the standard set by Ms. Meyer. Write us a paragraph of purple prose, emulating as closely as possible Meyer's overearnest style, though it does not necessarily have to come from the "Twilight" storyline. Winners will receive valuable prizes. Rules for the contest are as simple as baseball apparently is to vampires.
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Isn't that just delightful? I love how they describe her writing as "over-earnest." Oh, and for those of you who are wondering what "purple prose" is, here is the Wikipedia entry:

"Purple prose is a term of literary criticism used to describe passages, or sometimes entire literary works, written in prose so overly extravagant, ornate, or flowery as to break the flow and draw attention to itself. Purple prose is sensually evocative beyond the requirements of its context."

I think that's a really cool description of Stephenie Myers.

So, I decided to participate in this. At first I wasn't even gonna try. Since the contest said to "test your writing mettle against the standard of Stephenie Myers" I was just gonna send in my shopping list...I figured that would meet or exceed the "standard" set in her novels, but then I realized I never go shopping--so I decided to create something original.

Anyway, the contest rules were really simple. You can submit 3 entries. Each entry has to be 100 words or less. And it's due by November 5th....but I didn't need till November 5th. I wrote my entries in under 10 minutes...all 3 of them.

So, now, without further ado...here are my 3 Stephenie Myers imitations. I decided to focus on the three things I noticed from the few pages of the book I read (I borrowed a copy from Rachel...and I felt dirty taking it home with me). They were:

A) How she always makes Bella sound self-conscious and inferior.

2) How she describes beauty in such abstract ways.

iii) How love is forbidden and closely associated with loss (see Petrarchan love themes if you're interested in this trope).

(and yes I did just number those A, 2, and iii...my brain is still turned off from writing the three passages...also, I think it's funny to number things wrong...but I digress...)

Okay here is entry 1. This entry focuses on theme A.

Britney entered the room. I am sitting quietly by myself. I look up to see her walking toward me. I try to hunch down so she won’t see me. Being around her makes my head swim. Near her, everything sounds bad once it leaves my mouth. As she walks up to my table my heart skips a beat. I try to look her in the eye but I feel so awkward, so clumsy. Being so close to her, to her beauty—a goddess in form and grace—I feel like un-worked clay sitting beside the Winged Victory of Samothrace.

(99 words, just under the wire)

Here is entry 2. This entry focuses on theme 2.

Her hair was like a dark river cascading down her back. Her eyes were like sapphires. When she smiled at me it was as welcome and as warm as sunlight after a cold and bitter winter. She put her hand on my arm and spoke to me in a voice that was too light, too pure—too beautiful. I wished I could hold that voice, cling to it, for as it faded, I felt as if heaven faded with it, as if the world was now less, for such beauty can only end in loss.

(95 words)

Here is entry 3. This entry focuses on theme iii.

I reached my hand out and caressed her cheek and looked deeply into her eyes. I could get lost in those eyes. I could die in those eyes. Leaning forward I gently kissed her, her lips so soft against mine, but strangely cold. As I pulled away I felt as if I was separating from my very soul. She put her hand on my shoulder and the world stopped. Right then I had a painful and unrelenting vision. I knew, with all the certainty of a shard of ice through my heart: I would never see her again.

(98 words).

Anyway, that's my attempt at writing like Stephenie Myers. It was kinda fun...and pretty easy. And here's a pro:tip. If you really want to enjoy the paragraphs, read them out loud (and dramatically)...it really brings out how silly they are.

Anyway, hope you all have a great day.

p.s. if I win this contest I get a free dinner and 2 tickets to see "New Moon." If anyone in the Provo area wants those tickets let me know. I certainly have no use for them.