Goodbye Mr. Chill

I just want to share a picture of Mr. Chill before I have to destroy him. As you can see, time hasn't been kind to him and his inward rottenness has spread throughout his face, causing receding gums and sunken eyes. Fortunately, at the last minute I was able to perform surgery on him--now he's a cyborg. You can tell he's a cyborg because of the "vision augmenter"I installed in his left eye. Mr. Chill can now see through walls.


Fig. 1 Mr. Chill in cyborg mode featuring vision augmenter.

I wish I could share a picture of the girlfriend I carved for him at a ward function. Only problem is she's disappeared (she started to smell pretty fast cause she was already an old pumpkin when I carved her). I think Mr. Chill might have had something to do with her disappearance... perhaps one of my roommates was in collusion with Mr. Chill.

And a strange thing about her death, it has had a surprising effect on Mr. Chill. I still think Mr. Chill killed her, but even though he killed her, he misses her. Just the other day I walked past him and I heard him mourning his lady. He said something like "Death lies on her like an untimely frost. Upon the sweetest flower of all the field." I'm not sure why he was quoting Romeo and Juliet, but then again, Mr. Chill was always an evil, but very literate pumpkin.

Anyway, tonight I will throw Mr. Chill off a bridge in a cathartic manner. I already have the perfect bridge in mind.

It is fitting that so violent a life have an equally violent death. He was born to this world under the knife, and he will leave this world thrust to the ground, a pulpy mess under the unrelenting force of gravity. I will miss our little war. He was a noble opponent. Farewell pumpkin!

Hope you all have a great day (at least a better day than Mr. Chill's).