Santa Claus

Today's topic is Santa Claus. For those of you reading this who believe in Santa, please stop reading. You may click here to leave.

Okay, now I'm dealing with the non-believers. Really what I want to talk about is the appropriateness of telling your kids that Santa is real. I've had a few friends who have told me that they'll never tell their kids Santa is real. They usually say something like "I won't ever tell my kids about Santa, I won't ever lie to them, besides, Santa detracts from the real meaning of Christmas blah blah blah I'm a self-righteous Christmas hater" (paraphrased).

So, those are the two contested points brought up by these Christmas haters. I'll now discuss both of them.

Lying to your kid:
Whether telling your kid Santa is real is a lie really depends on how you define "lie." I mean, every definition of lie includes the idea that 1) you have the truth and 2) you purposefully misdirect someone away from the truth. However, lying seems to have a more sinister connotation than these two premises. I think lying is considered bad because, usually, a lie is a misdirection from a known truth selfishly intended to advance the interests of the liar.

When parents tell their kids about Santa, they aren't trying to advance their interests, they're trying to create an experience for their child. There is no maliciousness in this, so, while it might be a lie, it is of a type that is harmless (and inspired by love). If there is such a thing as a good lie, this would be it. So, I think it's pretty unfair to lump parents lovingly telling their children about Santa under the term "lie," when that term is used to describe the real heavy hitting liars such as Nixon, Clinton, and that girl that gave you her phone number last Friday.

I believe lying for the benefit of another, while not a good thing, is a softer form of lie that deserves a better name. From henceforth I will call such lies "happy fun lies :)" (smiley face is included in the name). I also here assert that it is okay to tell happy fun lies :) to children.

Now, I've heard people say "well isn't there a breach of trust" won't the kid never trust you again etc. etc. Well, if your kid can't see why you would tell them a happy fun lie :) then they're probably pretty dense and not smart enough to figure out that Santa isn't real anyway--so I don't see that being a problem.

Okay, with that said lets talk about the people who say that Santa detracts from Jesus...

That's just goofy. Santa only detracts from Jesus if people misunderstand the relationship between Santa and Jesus. I've heard two extremes: there are the people who make Santa out to be some usurper trying to secularize Christmas and push Jesus out of the picture, and there are those who believe that nearly everything in the Santa Claus story is some symbol of Jesus. Of the second type, I once saw a lady get up in sacrament meeting and tearfully recount a story about someone consoling a crying Santa. The person in the story asks Santa why he is crying and Santa tells him,"because people are forgetting Jesus. Please tell the children the real meaning of Christmas." Then the depressed Santa in the story reappropriates every pagan Christmas symbol and re-invents them as Christian. This is too far into the second type--way too far.

I think Santa should be seen as the master of ceremonies for Christmas. Your kids should understand the reason we're celebrating Christmas is to recognize the birth of Jesus...and the person who tries to help us remember that is...you guessed it...Santa!

Now, I realize that many people might say "well if it's all about Christ, why do we even need Santa...doesn't that just complicate things?" And this is a good point. I agree that Santa Claus isn't necessary. I think he's like any other icon, he helps in remembering. The story of Santa is the story of a man who dedicates his entire life to giving to others. This should resonate with people and get them into the spirit of giving. In so doing, they feel charity, kindness, love, and all the other emotions that are synonymous with Christ. Santa should aid in understanding Christmas, not complicate Christmas. I think most of the people that feel that Santa complicates or detracts from the real meaning of Christmas feel that way because they're blurring the distinction between a symbol and its referent.

I hear mistakes in this sort of distinction all the time. Once I had a professor hold up the U.S. flag and the constitution of the United States. He said "which should I step on?" People became really bothered when he stepped on the flag but they really didn't seem to mind when he stepped on the constitution. He asked them "why doesn't it bother you when I step on the constitution but it does bother you when I step on the flag? Which is more important?" I was in this class with my brother. We both looked at each other and decided to leave. As we left the class the professor yelled at our backs "looks like some people can't handle tough discussions." My brother turned to him and said "if you can't see that the distinction you're making is unfair, you're not qualified to teach us anything." (The guy shouldn't have stood on a flag anyway...this guy was an Indian and this was a year after September 11, 2001)

As my brother and I walked away we discussed what that guy had done wrong. His mistake was this: he misunderstood the nature of symbols. It's ridiculous to argue which is more valuable... the flag or the constitution, because the flag represents the constitution. So, to argue for the greater value of either is nothing more than creating an imagined paradox by pitting the constitution against itself. The constitution has primacy over the flag, but because the constitution's value is abstract and only beautiful in the mind, we use the flag as a physical reminder of the ideals contained in the constitution. As we appreciate one we appreciate the other. So, what the flag is is a tool to help us remember the constitution.

Now back to Santa. What I mean to say is that Santa for many people is like the flag, and Christ is the constitution. Christ is everything, he's the reason for Christmas, and without him Christmas would be empty. But, Santa is the icon that we've used to reference Christmas. If we think of Santa Claus as a symbol we rally behind, as an idea used to do good to each other ("when you are in the service of your fellow beings you are only in the service of your God") then the Santa Claus myth is integrally connected with Christmas. Not because (as some say) the symbolism and tradition of Santa and Christmas directly reflects the teachings of Christ; but rather, because the way we behave in response to those symbols and traditions helps us to live in such a way that our lives reflect the teachings of Christ. This is the connection.

Here is just one example of that. Christ taught that giving without receiving a reward is the highest form of giving. In Matthew 6:3 he said "But when thou doest alms, let not thy left hand know what thy right hand doeth". To aid in this Santa removes the giver from the immediate recognition of the receiver. In this way, the myth of Santa allows parents to give to their children in a truly Christian way...without receiving any credit at all (I actually used to think Santa was awesome and my parents were cheap).

Okay, now I better stop. But before I do I want to quickly say two things.

First, most of the people I know who don't want to tell their kids about Santa feel that way because they were themselves robbed of the experience. Sadly, these Santa-hater's parents never told them Santa was real...and because of this, they feel justified in robbing future generations. All I have to say to that is: just cause you were robbed doesn't justify you in robbing your children of the magic of Santa Claus.

To drive this point home I will now quickly share a Christmas memory that (for me) captures the magic of Santa (and also what parents rob their kids of if they don't tell them about Santa).

The memory I'm going to share is from the last Christmas I believed in Santa. We lived in Diamond Bar at the time. I remember sitting up in my bed listening for a sleigh on the roof. I actually thought I heard something that night (which is pretty ridiculous cause we had a very slanted roof with shingles. Santa would have destroyed our roof). Once I heard Santa I decided I could sleep because Santa had made it to my house safely...but I couldn't sleep cause I was too excited. So, I sat there and imagined what must be happening downstairs while I slowly drifted away...

The next morning I woke up very early and bolted down the stairs. As I rounded the stairway I looked at the tree, and I promise you, everything was sparkly. To this day I'm not sure if it was a trick of the light or if my parents threw glitter on everything...but everything under the tree was covered in magic. I ran as fast as I could toward the toys. One of the toys I got that year was an inflatable T-Rex. As I ran I veered and charged the T-Rex and brought him to the ground in a headlock laughing.

I was a pretty reflective kid..I remember putting down the can of whoop@#e I was delivering to the T-Rex for a second and pausing to think "this is a nearly perfect moment." Now I look back and have to say I was wrong-- that wasn't a nearly perfect moment, it was a perfect moment. And I don't think that moment would have been possible without the magic of Santa Claus. My belief in Santa tempered everything I experienced that day. Santa Claus was real and he had brought his magic into my home...I believed that so intensely that, somehow, everything under the tree sparkled like a vampire in sunlight. That was one of the sweetest memories of my childhood...and it wasn't cause of the toys, it was cause of how excited I was by the thought of how the toys got there.

Just a year later I was too old to believe in Santa. I still enjoyed Christmas, but it was a more reasoned and calculating enjoyment. I never felt that magic again. I wish I could somehow suspend my disbelief even now and believe in Santa just so I could have that feeling back. I guess I'll have to wait till I have my own kids to feel that again, and that's one of the things I look forward to most.

We only have a short window in our lives when we're old enough to get excited and anticipate things but young enough to believe that the world operates in fantastic ways. This is a precious time, and we need to take advantage of it. So, let kids believe in Santa Claus, they have the rest of their lives to deal with reality.

(sorry this post became longer than I expected...next one will be short I promise)