Funny Story

Well, I've been thinking a lot lately so I've had a lot of thinking posts. To shake things up a bit I thought I'd tell a funny story. This is the story of the first time I was ever slapped. I don't tell this story very often cause, to be honest, it doesn't sound very believable, and also, I didn't behave all that well. But hey, I was in high school so acting inappropriately was part of the gig.

Okay, so the year is 1999. I'm a Jr. in high school. I am my school's "Creative Design" commissioner(which basically means I get to make cool sets for school activities).

The activity of the day was a pep rally. To inspire all of us, my school paid for the L.A. Laker's cheerleaders to come do a little dance number. As you would expect, most of the guys in the school were salivating while the Laker Girls did their little dance thing. I was given the tremendous honor of watching over the room where they were changing. Aiding me in this job was my friend Ryan Callon. Our task was simple: make sure no one enters the room while the girls changed out of their uniforms.

As the girls started filing out they would sit and talk with us a bit while the other girls finished. My friend Ryan and I were just amazed that we got to sit there and talk to them.

Now, one problem I've had through most of my life is that I don't really back down from a dare. My friend Ryan knew this and he dared me to ask the next girl that came out for a kiss. I thought about it for a second, figured I didn't have anything to lose, and so I took the challenge.

The next girl to come out was beautiful. She was just a little shorter than me, had long blond hair all the way to her waist, and was extremely tan, basically she looked like that iconic California blonde you see on the postcards. I walked up to her as confidently as possible....and I started talking.

I talked really fast and I said something along the lines of:

You see that guy right there, he dared me to ask you for a kiss. Now, I don't know what the rules are for these things, I am a minor so that might not even be legal, but I can tell you this much, if you give me a kiss I will walk back and I will be a hero. So, it's a comparatively small thing I ask...and you'd make my day, no, my week, no, not even that, you'd make my year.

She was kind of floored by all I said, she laughed lightly, and she started to say something about how legally she couldn't kiss me... I cut her off about half way through her rejection and offered her a compromise. I said, "how about this, you start to give me a kiss on the cheek, that can't be so bad, and then I turn. You can even slap me if you want to make it look like you didn't know." She laughed and said something like "you're dedicated and you're going to be trouble someday." She went for the cheek, I turned, and then she slapped me...a little bit harder than I thought she would.

She winked at me as I walked away. Well, more like as I strutted away. My friend Ryan watched my walk back down the hall in amazement. We soon walked off so I could say what happened out of earshot (completely neglecting our job to block the door). So, I told him what happened (all except the part where I was rejected and negotiated). He just laughed and I basked in the tremendous amounts of cool guy cred I'd just accrued.

The next day we had one of those silly little meetings they always do in leadership training classes where you have to say something nice about someone else in the room. My friend raised his hand and said, "I just want to say something nice about Danny. He's the man, he's got (crude euphemism for courage here), but all you need to know about him is he's kissed a Laker Girl."

I have still never told Ryan about talking her into it. All he could have seen where he was at was my turning my head, stealing a kiss, and getting slapped..but that little was enough to secure bragging rights for at least a year. It's kind of strange, I think this is the first time I've told that story in it's entirety (in high school I always told the shorter version...what Ryan would have seen.)

Looking back I wonder what I was thinking. I remember a few months later we were driving to visit my grandma, my brother mentioned this story to my parents and they were pretty surprised. They said something like, "you did what?! That doesn't sound like you at all." But all this was a long time ago, I'm way more mature and responsible now :)

Anyway, that's the story of the first time I was slapped.

The End.