Funny Story #3

Okay, here is one of my favorite stories (I'm getting close to my goal of 15 posts!)

So, it's about 1 year after high school. I have a sore throat (I'm noticing a trend of crazy stories when I'm not well...anyway) so I decide to get some ice cream. I find my brother and ask him if he wants to get some ice cream. He says "sure" and we're off.

We went to Albertsons and Baskin Robins but they were both closed (or out of ice cream). I drive around for a little while and then settled on going to Coldstone (I've never liked the place).

When I entered the place the guy told me they were closing and that they had already cleaned their counter (where they mix all the ice cream) so I was out of luck. I asked him if there was any way he could sell me ice cream cause I had a sore throat and I really needed something to soothe it. He said the only thing he could sell me was an ice cream cake.

I looked over at the ice cream cakes and my first thought was "I really don't need that much." These cakes were huge. They were about half again as large as a regular birthday cake. I looked at the price on the things and it said they were 25 bucks...I had a sore throat but it wasn't that sore. I started to walk away, but then I noticed that one said "Happy Mother's Day" on it. I looked to the guy and asked if I could get a deal on the Mother's Day cake. I said something like "hey, Mother's day was a week ago, you can't sell that cake for full price anymore." He said "good point, I'll give you 5 bucks off."

So I bought the ice cream cake for 20 dollars and started to walk out the store. I at least felt like I got a good deal. But as I started walking out the door I looked to my brother and said "I just paid 20 bucks for ice cream." I didn't like the idea of paying that much so I decided to go back in and talk until I felt better. My brother said "there is no way you'll get your money back." I knew he was probably right, but I thought I'd try to get my money back anyway.

I walked back into the place and told him I wanted to take the cake back. He looked at me like I was crazy, and then he looked at his fellow worker and said "can we do that? I've never done a return before." I saw their discomfort so I decided to start talking. I quickly made up a law that I thought sounded convincing and said, "you're legally required to take products back unless stated otherwise in a return policy, either on a sign in the store, verbally, or a receipt." The guy bought that (and hey, for all I know it it's true), and he gave me my 20 bucks and I gave him the cake.

But as I handed him the cake I saw him put the cake aside and I started to wonder about the cake's fate. After all, I still wanted it, I just didn't want to pay 20 bucks for it. So I asked him, "what do people do these days with returned mother's day cakes?"

He shrugged and said "I don't know, we can't sell it cause it's been exposed to the public...we'll probably just throw it away."

I looked at him in shock and said, "I won't be able to sleep tonight knowing you're gonna throw that cake away. That's such a waste."

He said "well, I certainly can't sell it again, it's been exposed to the public."

I said "wow, I just held it for a minute, I'm sorry for 'exposing' it. It really is a beautiful cake, I'm just afraid it's more cake than I need right now in my life."

He checked to see if I was playing with him, and I guess I sorta was.... "well I don't know if you did anything to it so I really can't sell it."

I replied, "well I didn't, so please promise me you won't throw that away."

He thought for a second and then said "well, maybe...."

I could see he was thinking about taking it home. I had an idea, I figured it was a long shot, but I also figured it wouldn't hurt to ask...so offered him an alternative and said, "hey, I got an idea. If you can't sell the cake, and since I'm the only person who knows I didn't do anything to it, I think I should probably be the one to take it home."

He looked at me like I was crazy. After all, I had just taken that cake back and received my money.

He said "no I think I'll just take it home."

I started to laugh and said "wow, you're a brave man, that cake has been 'exposed to the public', you have no idea if I did anything to it."

I started to see him think a bit and he said "you said you didn't do anything to it."

I laughed and said "yeah, I did say that, but can you trust me? I'm the kind of guy that takes a cake back for a refund. I wouldn't trust me."

He said "fine I'll throw it away."

I said "honestly, I'll feel horrible if you're going to throw that away, you might as well give it to me if you're gonna throw it away. At least that way someone gets to enjoy it."

Now, he probably just wanted to get rid of me cause it was late. I could see him working things over in his head. He was trying to figure out if this was really happening, if I was really trying to walk off with a cake I had just returned. I didn't think he'd go for it, but after a while he just dropped his shoulders, sighed, and said resignedly "fine take it."

When he handed me back my cake I've never felt so proud.

As I walked to my car my brother looked up and saw the cake in my hand and gave me a knowing smile, looking sorta vindicated, cause he saw the cake in my hand and figured I'd failed. Then I lifted up my other hand with the 20 dollar bill in it...

His face slowly turned into a grin and he clapped. I took a mock bow and walked to the car.

I drove home feeling like a champ. That might be the best cake I ever had. And here's the life lesson of it all: that cake tasted so good because I worked so hard for it.