Silly Poem

Hey,
I'm bored writing a paper, so I thought I'd let my mind wander and write something on here.

Anyway, the story I'm going to tell you is probably only funny if you know the poem I'm referring to. Actually, it might not be funny even then. But, it's the only thing I thought to post on so it's what I'm gonna share.

Okay, so today I was talking with someone in my ward. She's a really nice girl that likes my friend. She asked me what kind of a guy he is, and I let her know that he's a lot like me (he's a philosophy major too), but a better person. She asked "how so" and then I informed her that I am a sophist while my friend is a philosopher (now in reality I'd say I'm more philosopher than sophist but I figured I'd handle this discussion polemically so my friend would look better).

And what's the difference? Well, a sophist wants to be right. They manipulate arguments to skew perceptions and get their way. A philosopher wants the truth, and they figure if they have the truth they'll be right. They create arguments so they can share better ways of thinking and help those around them.

After I clarified the terms she asked me to give an example of me exercising sophistry. Now, I think that knowing me she'd have ample evidence already. But, I guess she wanted more evidence cause she asked me to skew the truth of that old poem with all the contradictions in it. She said "you know that old contradiction poem kids sing....it goes something like

One bright morning in the middle of the night,
two dead boys got up to fight,
back to back they faced each other
drew their swords and shot each other,
One deaf policeman heard the noise,
and came and shot the two dead boys."

I told her I knew the poem. (When I was a kid I used to recite it and think I was so clever and funny because it's crazy to have the morning in the night, and shoot people with swords and all that).

She then said "well, defend it, make it make sense."


I accepted her challenge and this is what I got--I'll go through it line by line

One bright morning in the middle of the night: Morning is when you wake up. Sometimes people say "my morning started earlier than usual." This is because morning is a relative term. It's not just a time, it's the time of an action--namely, when you wake up. So, if you woke up in the middle of the night, that would be your morning. Also, 12:01 would be midnight, and it's technically morning. As for brightness, brightness doesn't always mean light. A bright child is a smart child. A bright future is a good future. So, taking that into consideration, we have a bright morning---meaning it's a good morning.

So, what we know is someone's morning started around 12 or so, and that it was a good morning for them.

Two dead boys got up to fight: This one is pretty obvious, their family name is Ded. So, it's the Ded boys. You know, "the Ded boys are into trouble again, Mr. Ded will be so angry with those rascals" sorta thing.

Back to back they faced each other: Facing someone doesn't always mean having your face toward them, it also has an abstract sense. Someone can face cancer and cancer doesn't even have a face. What face usually means is to oppose or confront something. You can do that back to back quite easily.

Drew their swords and shot each other: these were guns with bayonets--which are a sword attached to the end of a rifle.

One deaf policeman heard the noise: the policeman is deaf, but only in one ear.

And came and shot the two dead boys: The Ded boys are now living up to their family name.

So, there we go. The poem has no contradictions. This is sophistry. Sophists were for the Greeks what lawyers are today. Not a very useful bunch, but they always did well.

Well, I better get back to work. Hope you all have a good day.