Blanket, Riddle, Advice, Muse CD

Okay, so my unfortunate story for the week goes like this:

A post or so ago I shared a story of how I did some laundry and I forgot my towel when there was company over. Well, during that same laundry trip I got ambitions and decided to wash my down-feather bed comforter.

I had no idea that that thing would not dry.

Right after I washed it my roommate suggested that I use the clothesline in the backyard. I'd never used a clothesline before, so I was keen on the idea and I put the sopping wet blanket on the line.

When my roommate suggested that I put the blanket on the line I asked him "isn't it supposed to rain today or tomorrow?" He said "Oh, no, I have a sense for these things, it's not going to rain today."

This roommate is a woodsman, who is even as I type this in the middle of Alaska playing with fish or something...so I trusted him and hung up the blanket.

I went off to do a few things...and much to my dismay I noticed raindrops on my car window. Eventually it started pouring rain.

By the time I got home it was time to go to bed and my comforter was just sitting out there in the rain. I decided that it couldn't get any wetter so I just left it there.

I went straight to bed, but I didn't have a blanket. I thought I'd be tough and not worry about it, but at around 2 or so I started to get really cold.

I got out of bed and explored for some blankets but they were all gone (they belonged to the roommates who have moved out).

So, I lay there shivering in bed.

Now, I'm not very intelligent when I'm half asleep. I didn't think to explore further, or ask John for one of his 4 blankets (he uses them all). I just lay there bemoaning the cruel universe.

Eventually I started piling clothes on top of myself. I just took the laundry basket and threw all the clothes on my bed and sorta burrowed into the clothes. I made a makeshift clothing cocoon and slept for the rest of the night. When I woke up I saw the ad hoc solution I'd come up with in my delirious state and just shook my head. Once again I have proven that "sleep me" is a moron (but the pile of clothes I'd burrowed into did look sorta funny).

(by the way, my blanket now smells like a tent...I might need to wash it again).

In other news, school is officially done. The lowest score I had on a final was a 97% so I should have a 4.0 this semester. I didn't walk or anything, I didn't really see the point. But, it's really strange that that chapter of my life is over (but so much school ahead anyway).

Let's see....what else. Oh, I heard another riddle. It's sorta like the ball riddle I shared a little while ago. It goes like this:

You have 12 balls. One ball is different. The different ball is either heavier or lighter than the other 11. You have a scale. You can use the scale 3 times. How would you find the ball that's different?

This is important to figure out cause you never know....someday you might need to find a ball that is different from its peers....and you might have a scale that charges you per use or something...

Naw, really it's just for bragging rights, but this is a hard one so good luck.

Let's see...what else. Well, tonight a friend in my ward asked if I'd like to go with her to a place called the Purple Turtle. I guess they're famous for their shakes. It was pretty nice. Right when we got there we looked at the menu and noticed they had spelled Reese's Pieces with a "c" so it looked like "Reece's Pieces." We shrugged and forgot about it....but it came up a few minutes later.

It came up later cause I wrote down a few dashes on a napkin and told her we were playing hangman. The rule was you had to use a word that was visible in the restaurant. I used Reece's Pieces spelled incorrectly (it was visible so it was legit). It took her a while cause she dismissed that as an option once she tried the correct spelling.

Somehow the game turned to a discussion on spelling which got us talking about the IPA (international phonetic alphabet). I guess she learned IPA for her major (she's a masters student in English instruction).

Luckily I took a linguistics class about 4 years ago where I learned IPA (being a student forever has its perks). We ended up playing the weirdest game of hangman ever using the IPA. For example a word like Coke(this is one word I can actually type cause it doesn't use weird symbols) would be spelled "kok."

It was really fun (and sorta hard) trying to figure out words from their phonetic spellings. I must admit that the hangman was quite busy hanging people tonight.

As we talked our conversation turned to some decisions she's trying to make right now and this got me to thinking on something I've been stewing over lately....and that is the proper way to give and receive advice from other people.

It seems like there are three sorts of people who ask for advice: those that want advice, those that don't want advice, and those who just want to be told what to do.

People that want advice are sorta rare. What they want is to talk things over and to have another person weigh the options, see possibilities, cover things they might have missed, and just generally give them all the information necessary to make a good decision....this is advice (the root word in advice means means to look at, consider, and inform).

Other people just ask what you think so they can hear someone talk...even though they already have their minds made up. These sorts of people just want to pretend that they're conferring and discussing and being open minded...when in reality whatever you say will either be ignored, or, if you agree with them, used to validate their already made decision.

And finally there is the last group. This is the group of people that don't want to take responsibility for their choices. This is the group that asks other people for advice when in reality they're asking other people what they should do. This is sorta a cowardly way to go about things. People who make decisions communally are trying to distribute responsibility for a decision over the group....thereby absolving themselves of the responsibility of taking control of their lives. People who do this have faith in a group because they have no faith in themselves.

So when you give advice, my advice on how to give that advice is to help other people see good and clear ways of thinking. To remove contradictions, and to just in general help them make the best possible decision....but to make sure they make the decision.

This is what it means to give advice. And going back to my original 3 types of people seeking advice:

This is what category one people want (and I commend them).

This is what category two people need.

And this is what category three people should want.

I once had a talk with a girl who asked my advice on something and I told her what she should do. She listened to me, rejected a job offer, and completely changed the trajectory of her life. When I heard that she had dropped all of her plans and followed my recommendation I felt horrible. I began to wonder if I was right. I mean, she had all of the facts, I only had the facts she gave me....so she was way more qualified to make the choice (and she had far more at stake than me).

Things turned out great for her, but I exerted way more power than than I should have. If things had gone bad for her I would have been miserable. I overstepped my bounds.

Anyway, my main point is that we all need and should seek the advice from others, but we should also keep in mind that life decisions are ultimately the responsibility of the person living the life. When we help others we shouldn't merely validate and agree with whatever they say, but we also shouldn't be contrary and play devil's advocate....what we should do is give comfort, reassurance, and clarity...to increase another person's ability to make a decision-- rather than circumventing their need to make a decision.

Well, that's what I've been thinking about.

Oh, and the other exciting thing is I made the greatest Muse CD ever....seriously...ever!

Those that are nearby may request a copy.

Hope everyone is doing well.