Last Day

Sorta weird, today is my last day of classes at BYU. I've been a student here for a long time and now it's all over. I've thought things through, and there really is no way to drag things out at this point. I have 1 major and 2 minors, and you're not allowed to have 2 majors and 2 minors, so the only possible way to continue to take classes would be to change a minor into a major, but there is no logic major, so I'd have to become an English major. And since I'd rather slit my wrists and do push ups in saltwater than become an English major, I guess I gotta graduate.

I will probably be in Provo for a little while longer. There are a few classes that I'd like to sit in on over the summer, I am going to study the GRE with a friend, and I have a few job leads I'd like to check out. Also, I'd feel pretty bad just ditching my calling so soon after accepting it.

I know I won't be able to go to school around here, there just aren't any schools nearby that would be good enough. I've said that around some people and they've said "oh, look at him thinking he's all that" but it's true. I've worked hard and done very well in school, and it would be a complete waste to stick around here. None of the schools around here have a graduate program strong enough to get me where I want to go. Most of the professional degrees here tie people down to Utah, and while I don't mind Utah, I'd like the freedom to go anywhere I want and have a job. I'm going through this whole career path thing slowly, but also very carefully. I know sticking around here for school would be a shortsighted misstep.

Also, I sorta need to do it for my pride's sake (horrible motivation I know). I mean, around here there are these guys who are hot stuff who graduated from BYU with a degree in something boring like business and they get their middle management jobs. These guys are rich around here because everyone around them is a student. To be honest, I can't help but think these people don't have much ambition. They are the biggest fish in a really small pond. I know I couldn't handle falling into that rut. It's a nice payoff now (these guys have "real jobs" and they make the girls' hearts flutter with their ability to provide), but I don't see how far they will be able to go with those jobs. They are stuck here. At times I am jealous of them cause they're settled in their career and all the indecision of the future is behind them...but at the same time I wouldn't be happy settling with what they have. So, I gotta make sure I move past that sort of life...I don't want to have an average life with a moderate income, trapped and bound to a place, in a job I don't like.

That's why I know I need to get a professional degree, and from a good school. A professional degree could take me anywhere. So, law school it is. But, I'm also going to take the GRE, and I'm going to try to get into a joint program where I can get a Master's degree along with my J.D. Hopefully I'll be able to practice law in my area of emphasis. I guess what I'm doing is compromising. All this time I was thinking AvB when in reality I could go AB. This will take a lot of extra work (I'll need to get accepted to both programs at the school), but I think I can do it, and I got the next year to prepare for it.

This next year will be a tremendous blessing. I'll be able to prepare my applications very carefully and I'll have the time to explore both options (law and academia). If all goes as planned I should have a very versatile education.

Anyway, that's the plan right now. I hope it didn't sound pompous at all. I'm just trying to blog this out and keep my family posted (they ask quite frequently what I'm gonna do next). So, that's it. This next year is going to be a big one. A lot of changes are in store. But, I feel ready for what's coming up. I'm tired, and sorta broken down, but things are getting better and I'm getting back to where I was before the disaster that was the last year of my life.

Well, I better get some sleep. I only got 3 hours sleep last night (had to write 3 papers...procrastinating). I hope you all have a great day.