Garett Story

Today was Garett's funeral. I'm so sad I wasn't able to make it. I thought about him almost all day today.

My friend Logan spoke at the funeral and he did an amazing job (he sent me a copy of his talk). In his talk he shared stories of things we'd all done together. These stories got me to thinking about Garett, and experiences I'd shared with him that weren't in Logan's talk. As I thought about these experiences I decided I should share one or two of them on this blog.

So, tonight I'm gonna share a story from my Sr. year of high school. Hopefully hearing a "Garett Story" or two will help those of you that never met him to realize what a rare and special person he was, and why those that knew him miss him so much.

Garett was the psychologist at my high school. He'd let me and the other kids from church hang out in his office whenever we wanted. Sometimes he'd take the super cool kids (basically, me, my brother,Logan, and Ben) out of class to hang out and keep him company.

Once, when I was hanging out in his office, he asked him if there was a girl I was interested in. I told him that there was a girl and that her name was Teri. He asked me a few questions about her and I answered him while he sat there, listening, and nodding. When I was done he said "what's her last name?" I told him and then promptly forgot the incident.

The next day, as I was walking past his office, I looked through his window and noticed someone was inside. I started to walk away cause I didn't want to interrupt a meeting or anything, but as I was walking away I realized that the person in is office was none other than Teri. I felt a coldness in my stomach, I knew Garett was interrogating the poor girl and putting her on the spot (he enjoyed doing this to people when he first met them (when I first met him he slammed on his car brake so I'd fly across his van (but that's another story))). I was really scared cause I didn't know if she was ready to meet Garett. Garett was someone I usually waited a while to introduce to people (especially girls). He always asked girls the really awkward questions to see if they had a good sense of humor... and to see if they could handle being put on the spot (also, he'd usually try to extract funny stories out of them (usually at my expense)).

At this point I think it's important to point out that Garett didn't do this to humiliate me. He really did these kinds of things in fun. He just had a different, and older, perspective on things. He knew that a high school relationship wouldn't last, but that a brother would be around for a lifetime...so he was all about collecting funny stories for us all to laugh at later...long after the girl he'd embarrassed me in front of was nothing more than a memory. Unfortunately, I didn't share this wizened perspective. All I knew was that there was a girl I liked in his office and that he was putting her on the spot. I thought she'd resent his questioning, and by extension , resent me.

I ran into his office to put a stop to whatever sort of tom-foolery was afoot, but when I entered and he looked up, and all he said was "you know better, go back outside and do it right."

Now at this point I need to provide a little background. You see, Garett loved protocol. In order to access his office you needed to follow very strict procedure. First, you needed to put your face up against the glass. Next, you had to put your hands up to the glass with the blades of your hands against the glass, hands slightly cupped--blocking the sunlight so he could see you. Once you assumed this position you had to stand there and wait till he acknowledged you. Once he acknowledged you, you could then enter the sanctum of his office.

So, in my shock at seeing Teri in his office I entered his office without following the necessary protocol. He of course would have none of this, he wouldn't even talk to me until I followed the correct protocol... it was pretty embarrassing. All he said was "I don't want to embarrass you, but I can't talk to you until you seek admittance properly. Go back outside and do it right."

I said "come on, what's going on here?" Garett just looked at me with mock seriousness and said, "come on now, this hurts me more than it hurts you, go back outside and do it right."

So, I left the room, went outside, put my face against the window, put my hands to either side of my face to block the light...and then I watched him pretend I wasn't there. He looked everywhere but the window... he looked at the ceiling, his computer, he shuffled the things on his desk...and then, finally, he looked at the window and dramatically feigned surprise. A big mischievous grin came over his face and he dramatically bid me to enter.

As I walked into his office he said "oh, sorry Danny, but you'll have to go, as you can see I'm working with someone. You can come back when she's gone. I gotta take care of this, I think this girl might be crazy--she certainly has strange taste in men."

Teri is of course laughing through all of this ( Deep down I think she was just excited to see me getting put in my place).

Anyway, I left his office. I knew that nothing good could come from my staying around.... so I left and took up a seat outside his office...waiting for them to finish. And I waited for an eternity.

An eternity later (probably 20 minutes), Teri came out.

When she came out I asked her how it went. She said it was nice. I waited patiently for her to say more, but she didn't, so I said "and...." ending with dramatic effect. She said, "Oh come now, all we did was talk about you." I said "that's what I am afraid of...details please." She said "he told me you'd ask for details...and he also told me not to give you any."

I soon realized that in just a few minutes he'd inspired more loyalty in her than I had in the last 4 years so I ran to Garett's office to get the scoop... I followed protocol correctly and he waved me in.

I entered his office and asked him how the meeting went. He of course said "what meeting?" After I jogged his memory he said , "oh yes, the girl, it went well enough. She seems nice."

"And....."

"She's a nice girl."

"Is that all I'm gonna get?"

"Probably."

I left his office and tracked down Teri again. She remained loyal to Garett's vow of silence for at least an hour, but, after some persistence she finally relented and told me about the conversation

She said "At first he asked me about me, what my plans are, what I like, what kind of music I listen to and all that...but then he asked me about you. But it wasn't the typical questions, it wasn't questions like 'do you like him' or 'does he have a shot with you.' He didn't ask any anything like that, he just asked me to describe you, what you're like, what you care about. It was pretty strange."

I agreed with her that it was a strange interview (even stranger than him calling her out of her English class in the first place). I went to his office to get to the bottom of everything...and then I learned a valuable lesson about what a good friend he was.

He just smiled and said "I gotta make sure she's good enough for you buddy. I don't really care about the particulars, although it was important that she told me she likes the Beatles...but really, all I wanted to do was to make sure she understood what a great guy you are...I wanted to know if she was good enough for you, and I decided to measure whether she was good enough for you by whether or not she could appreciate how special you are (and not in the way I usually use that word)... I still think she undervalues you, but she caught enough. I say go for it."

Right then my frustration with him just disappeared. I was still a little annoyed that he'd meddled, but what was first on my mind was how lucky I was to have such a good and loyal friend.

I ended up dating that girl, it ended badly...Garett eventually referred to her by the dysphemism of "that cute little porcupine" (which always lightened my mood when I was sure I would never love again).

But...just as he helped me before I dated her, he helped me after. He was there for me, guiding me through those first awkward steps that inevitably come after we stub our toes on love (or what we think is love) for the first time.

It's so hard to realize that I'll never see my friend again (in this life). I'm sure I'll meet other great people, some might even be as smart or as witty as he was --although this is doubtful--, but what I really doubt is that I'll ever find a friend that impacts my life so much, or that cares for me as purely and loyally as he did.