Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Changes

Hey everyone,

Well, since classes are done I thought I'd finish a post I started a while ago. This post is about changes and it's based off a quotation I heard years ago. The quote is from Mary Antin and it goes something like this:

"We are not born all at once, but in bits. The body first, and the spirit later. Our mothers are racked with the pains of our physical birth; we ourselves suffer the longer pains of our spiritual growth."

When I first heard this quotation I was pretty young. I don't think I really understood it then. I guess time and a little pain has brought out (at least some of) its truth.

What I take this to mean is that we aren't finished products, we're works in progress. And unfortunately, the process by which we progress often entails pain. Sometimes it's pain caused by our mistakes, other times its pain brought on by the mistakes of others. If you're religious you might view your pain as a trial from God or a temptation from Satan. Sometimes bad things just happen and that's life. But whatever pain you might be going through, if properly dealt with it will make you stronger.

Personal strength is developed very similarly to physical strength--through stress. When you work out you tear your muscles and when they heal they're stronger. After a while you become strong and the weight that previously tore your muscles ceases to do so. At that point you can either continue using the same weight (and stop developing) or you can increase your weight and become stronger . Because of this, when you're working out, if you're not getting sore you're avoiding the next step. The same is true with life. If you're living your life free of pain you're probably avoiding the next step, and you're probably also not becoming stronger. A life lived to its fullest hurts.

Now, don't get me wrong. I'm not saying we should look for pain... what I'm saying is that if you're really growing, really pushing the limits of what you can do...if you're doing these things then you're standing for what is right and pain is the inevitable byproduct. Joseph Fielding McConkie said "you can't lift up one end of a stick without moving the other." By this he meant you can't stand for what's right without exciting those who oppose what's right to responsive action. I don't want to go down this line of thinking too far, I only want to point out that if you're doing what's right you'll be opposed, and, because of this, pain results. This might be part of why the person who always did what was right (Christ) suffered more than anyone.

My brother used to have a friend who was a Marine. His friend would often say "pain is just weakness leaving the body." I'm not sure if I agree with that as far as physical things (I doubt the pain of cancer signifies someone getting stronger as their weakness leaves), but I believe this is true of personal/spiritual things. I think this quotation is an accurate heuristic for the spiritual life. I think this because when you suffer, if you view the pain in context, if you understand why it is painful, if you learn from the pain and apply that pain to personal development (thereby growing out of the pain), then your suffering tempers your spirit and your pain quite literally becomes the sign of your weakness leaving you. At that moment you are, as Mary Antin described, suffering the pains of your spiritual growth.

When I look back at my life (the little of it I have lived so far), I often think of the really difficult times. I can't help but look at the painful moments I dealt with properly and feel a sense of pride. But conversely, I often think of the challenges I backed down from or avoided and think about the opportunities I may have missed and I feel a deep sense of regret. I resolved early in my life to never back down from the the opportunities presented to me--no matter how difficult. Unfortunately, I have frequently failed at this-- choosing the cold comfort of consistency over the indeterminacy of opportunity. But regardless of this, I have had some wonderful successes that have made it possible for me to say looking back on it all that the most defining (and beneficial) times in my life were born in uncertainty.

There are so many changes ahead for all of us. I hope we make them correctly, not based on a fear of the painful or unfamiliar, but rather, based on a determination to do what's best. Lets take the higher road (I've been told it makes all the difference) and see what we can become. It may be painful at times, but hey, they're growing pains.

Well, that's about all the motivational sentiment I have, I guess I'll have to go back to posting videos depicting swearing censorship.

**Oh, and I should have probably defined "pain" in this post. I used the term to mean anything from mild discomfort to extreme suffering; basically, I used the word "pain" to represent opposition of any kind.**

Television Editing

I have always found rated R movies on television pretty funny. I find censorship in general pretty funny. One of my favorite stories about censorship was told to me by a former mission companion. He's got a kid (most of my companions do by now) so he uses a program called Clear Play. I guess the program scans the subtitles for prohibited words and then replaces offensive words with a more child-friendly substitute. Well, his kid was watching a cartoon about a farm and a rooster woke up to crow. But, since cock-adoodle-doo begins with a prohibited word, the rooster's crow was replaced with "jerk-adoodle-doo."

Well, in that spirit, here is some of the best editing ever done for television. This clip is from the cinematic masterpiece Snakes on a Plane.


Anyway, here is some good cheer for you all to follow up my last rather cynical post. Take care everyone!

Monday, April 20, 2009

A Letter to "Nice Guys"

Hey Nice Guys,
I'm not sure if I'm one of you. I just thought I'd write you a letter since I've met a few of you the past few days. I'm kind of sick of you "nice guys." I have no problem with genuinely nice guys...I'm really only writing to the annoying ones that deserve sarcastic quotation marks. Anyway, here's my problem with you.

You really think you're so nice you deserve a girl out of your league. Just a few days ago a guy came up to me and started telling me his "nice guy" past. From our conversation I could tell he thought he was remarkably witty, deep, thoughtful, everything a girl could want, but sadly, he was just under-appreciated by the opposite sex. This whole mindset gets on my nerves. I have nothing wrong with thinking you're special, but I do have a problem with thinking that you're a bed of gold waiting to be sifted or some other pretentious nonsense. If girls aren't interested in you, it's probably your fault. I am pretty sure that girls judge character far better than most "nice guys" give them credit for. If they can't see your tremendous innate worth...it might be because you're overestimating yourself. I can objectively estimate most "nice guys" since I'm an outside observer (and I'm most definitely not biased by appearance) and I can honestly say that on average, when I meet one of you "nice guys," I find your skill in conversation, wit, thoughtfulness etc. to be about as impressive as the girl who turned you down last Friday.

Now, as for your claims that women aren't attracted to you because they are shallow and judge your appearance...all I can say to this is be thankful you're a guy cause guys do this to girls far more frequently than girls do this to guys. Take a look at the girl that isn't really all that interested in you, view the situation objectively...and then face the cold hard truth that she is probably way too attractive for you. Since she's out of your league I'll give you a few options to make it work out....

1) Accomplish something (medal of honor works well)

or

2) Make a fortune (not saying she'll marry you for money, but money is definitely a good incentive to look past your looks).

Also,please keep in mind your hypocrisy. Although you're a "nice guy" who thinks deep and interesting thoughts you're most likely (despite what a "nice guy" you are) interested in her because of her appearance. What your problem is is that you feel you deserve to date out of your league because you're so spectacular in so many unquantifiable ways that only your mother is aware of. Come on now, be honest, if the girl was hideous she'd be grateful for your deep, thoughtful, and romantic gestures. The problem is you feel a sense of entitlement.

Now, I'm not saying I'm not a hypocrite, and I'm also not saying that I've never caught myself thinking "man, if only she can see what a great guy I am." I think that's natural. My big problem is when you're one of those guys that has cried on my shoulder in the last few days (4 of you to be exact) who thinks you're just under appreciated. Honestly, you're not. Man up, get realistic.

Hopefully this message doesn't sound harsh. I guess I'm just fed up with hearing sob stories. I wish you all the best...remember that just because a guy is good looking and charismatic doesn't mean a girl is shallow for liking him. He very well could be those things in addition to his being more witty and thoughtful than you. Don't blame him, blame your parents.

Good luck, have a great life, cancel your World of Warcraft account, and hit the gym.

Oh, and portions of this post might also apply to "sweet girls" but I'm not qualified to make that judgment.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

List of Cool Quotations from this Semester

Every semester of school I keep an Excel file where I write down all the cool quotations and words I discover while reading textbooks or listening to professors. Here are a few of them. Since I don't know what kind of quotations everyone is into I will put them into a few different categories so you can read what you want. Oh, and one more thing, a good deal of these quotations come from Nietzsche and Shakespeare (Two of the most quotable people that ever lived and I took a class that focused exclusively on each of them. Unfortunately I took both classes before I had a blog so many of their gems were wasted...I'm fixing that now).

Philosophical:

Wittgenstein, Ludwig: Philosophy is a battle against the bewitchment of our intelligence by means of language.

Nietzsche: It is my ambition to say in ten sentences what others say in a whole book.

Charles Peirce: To have a gifted scientist's mind work on your day to day problems is like running a train, burning diamonds instead of coal. (not a verbatim quote)

Moral and Religious:

Shakespeare: Words without thoughts never to heaven go.

Shakespeare: Temptation is the fire that brings up the scum of the heart.

Shakespeare: Ignorance is the curse of God; knowledge is the wing wherewith we fly to heaven.

Shakespeare: The love of heaven makes one heavenly.

King, Arthur Henry: Sincerity is being oneself without thinking of oneself.

Nietzsche: Fear is the mother of morality (don't have to agree with him, just an interesting idea).


Love (Warning! not always positive):

Gordon, George: Absence--the common cure of love.

Rouchefoucauld, François de la: Absence weakens mediocre passions and increases great ones, as the wind blows out candles and kindles fires.

Nietzsche: Love is blind, friendship closes its eyes.

Shakespeare: The course of true love never did run smooth.

Nietzsche: Love is not consolation. It is light.

Nietzsche: (feminists do not read this one..I'm not) If a woman possesses manly virtues one should run away from her; and if she does not possess them she runs away from herself. (He never married, never even had a girlfriend, but he did have a girl he liked who dissed him so bad he became a philosopher)

Nietzsche: It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.

And one more from our little German friend...

Nietzsche: There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness.

Cynical:

(had to make this category to get out some more Nietzsche (the dude just sat down in pain and wrote all day))

Nietzsche: He that humbleth himself wishes to be exalted.

Nietzsche: Wit is the epitaph of an emotion.

Nietzsche: Talking much about oneself can also be a means to conceal oneself.

Nietzsche: Perhaps I know why it is man alone who laughs: He alone suffers so deeply that he had to invent laughter.

Shakespeare: I dote on his very absence.

Shakespeare: Suspicion always haunts the guilty mind.

General Wisdom

Anonymous: Regrets are far more painful than goodbyes.

Anonymous: A righteous man's reason is revelation.

Shakespeare: How poor are they that have no patience. What wound did ever heal but by degrees.

Monday, April 6, 2009

Logician Pick Up Artist

This is how a logician pick up artist would get all the girls...

**walks up to girl at a party...**

Logician: Hi, I got an idea, if and only if I make a true statement you have to go on a date with me; however, if I make a false statement you will not go on a date with me.

(Now, since most girls will give a first date anyway I don't see why she wouldn't say yes to this (if she says no the guy must be extremely ugly or have horrendous hygiene(being a logician this might be the case))). So the next step for the logician pick up artist would go as follows...

Logician: You will not go on a date with me, nor will you kiss me.

Now this is where it gets tricky. You see, she can't go on a date with him because if she does his statement is false and she can only go on a date with him if he makes a true statement. But, if she doesn't go on a date with him his statement becomes true which would force her to go on a date with him... but of course she can't do this because if she does the statement would once again be false. This puts her into a form of the liar's paradox. The only way the girl could remain consistent and avoid the paradox would be to kiss the logician. If she kisses him that makes his statement false. Since his statement is now false she can walk away free of paradox.

So, our logician pick up artist just got a kiss from a girl with very minimal work. He could have put anything as the second proposition...maybe "be my girlfriend" or "marry me" (how romantic is that!). The only problem I see is that very few people care about consistency. Well, at the very least I don't know many girls that live their lives in fear of paradox. But, if I ever meet such a girl, I think we will probably kiss.

Anyway, who says logicians aren't romantic?

Shorter Posts

I recently noticed that my posts are too long. I was reading someone's post yesterday and all I could say was "holy wall of text, he needs to write less." Then I did a word count and realized that my last post was twice as long. So, posts will now be shorter. I would apologize more but I'm past my word limit.

Friday, April 3, 2009

How To Get Good Grades Without Trying Too Hard

Hey everyone,

Well, it's finals time and I've seen a lot of people struggling. The guy who sits next to me in my law class was crying saying "I'll never finish, and I'll never make it to law school." Now, while in his case I agree with him, I think that many people are working very hard but not very intelligently.

I'm sure you are asking yourself "what qualifications does this guy have to tell me how to do my schoolwork better?" And, my skeptical friend, that's a good question. I'll now cast modesty aside and answer it...

On second thought, I'm not going to brag. I just erased an entire paragraph of bragging cause even I couldn't stomach it. Please just believe me that I get great grades and I don't work all that hard. It's not that I'm super smart, I've just been a student forever. If all my classes were applied towards college progression my credit count would put me in my last semester of most masters programs. But I digress...here is my little guide to getting great grades.

Getting great grades consists of three parts, class choice, class work, and testing. I will discuss each portion in turn.

CLASS CHOICE

Your choice of classes makes all the difference. Most people just look at the classes they need but not the professors. This is a huge mistake. In most cases the difficulty of the class is determined by the professor far more than the subject matter. I've taken the same class twice from different professors and I was amazed at the difference in curriculum and difficulty. Read ratings of professors on Ratemyprofessor.com to get a general feel for their style and workload. Talk to other people in your major. When you find a professor you like take every class you can from them (well at least take every required class you can from them). They will always favor you and they will someday (if you go on to grad school) write you a letter of recommendation. Picking the right professors provides your foundation each semester.

Sometimes you can't know the professor ahead of time, if this is the case you need to go to the class and get a feel for it. Professors that talk about how hard they are on the first day aren't always that hard. Often, they just hate huge class loads and they want to get rid of bad students. The most important thing to look for is whether they love the subject and they care about their students. If they do, take the class. If not, defer the class till someone else teaches it. Sometimes the most difficult classes are the most rewarding so don't be afraid of hard classes, just make sure you have the time to do well before you take them.

One important thing to remember is that not all credits are created equal. People often measure their workload by how many credits they have. This just isn't accurate. Writing intensive classes and highly technical classes (i.e. English or Math respectively) will take far more time than a class that is text/multiple choice based. Also, larger classes are generally easier than smaller classes. By this I mean that there is a general limit to how much work a teacher will give (they are lazy too) and so a 6 credit class won't be twice as much work as a 3 credit class. Additionally, there is a minimal limit of work any teacher will give (so they don't feel guilty) so a .5 credit or 1 credit class is usually never worth it. Whenever possible take a small amount of large classes over many small classes, the difference in work load is amazing.

CLASS WORK

The first thing you need to do is go over the syllabus. Check the syllabus of all your classes and see where the bottlenecks will be. If you have 3 papers due at the same time you might want to start one early (it hurts me to say this). Try to manage your time so your semester remains consistent. I am bad at this but when I've done it I was much happier.

Develop a rapport with your professor. After you get one of your first assignments go to his/her office hours and say something like the following:
"Hey professor, I just went over the assignment you returned. I got #3 wrong and I'm not sure why. I did x and y and z and it was still marked wrong. What could I do better?" This will make the professor think you are a very conscientious student and they will be concerned about your grade because every professor deep down wants those who work hard to succeed (or they're a horrible teacher and you failed during class choice). Make sure you know exactly what you did wrong so that when the professor lets you know what was wrong you sound intelligent and capable as you "learn" from him/her. This will give them a great impression of you. When the time comes to put out grades most teachers will round up if they think you worked hard by around 1/2 a percent. When they do your grade they will remember your diligence. Also, this will make it so they know your name so that when you work with them or need help later they will have a greater interest in you. Make sure you ask for help before the last minute. You want to build the relationship with your professor at the very beginning. Most students come in and cry at the end asking for help...don't be that student.

TESTING

Testing is where your grades come from, and because of this, it is probably the most important section of this tutorial. You need to know the way your professor tests. Usually, this can be ascertained by asking other students, but as a general rule, you will test differently, so take their advice skeptically (unless you are very familiar with their capabilities as a student). Always over-study for the first test. You want to do extremely well on the first exam, work as hard as you can, and from that first test gauge how much study will be needed on future exams. If you bomb the first test (most people do in hard classes) you'll be playing catch up the rest of the semester. Only after you ace the first exam can you get confident and calculate where you can cut corners.

Once you get a feel for the testing style of the professor (and grading) it is important to figure out what kind of tests he gives and plan study time accordingly. Here are test types you might see (and the time you should dedicate to each).

Take home open book essay: This requires no work on your part. On a paper like this what you do is just read one part of the required reading very well--become an expert on it. Skim the rest of the reading. When you write your paper you demonstrate expertise with the one part you know well and summarily mention in passing connections to the rest of your text. This shows mastery as well as the ability to think at a higher level by making connections. These are the two things most professors grade on. When you write this way, you read less and you look better. A win win in my book.

Take home closed book: Study like crazy cause your integrity is on the line...you don't want to be tempted.

Testing center multiple choice: This requires the least amount of studying as far as the testing center goes. Multiple choice tests by nature aren't hard. Almost always you can logically dismiss two answers and that normally leaves you 2 possibilities. At a 50 percent chance (and with whatever information you have) you should be able to guess your way into an A.

Testing center fill in the blank: Fill in the blank requires you to actually familiarize yourself with the material. Normally this format is done with a study guide posted online, or at least a key terms list. If not, scan the text for key terms and write them down. This is just one step up from multiple choice. You lose guessing power but with the small amount of extra study required your score should be equivalent to a multiple choice.

Testing Center Short Answer: This is usually pretty easy. Most terms are self-explanatory. Also, in the length of a short answer you normally can't go into enough depth to display your ignorance. This is usually pretty easy unless the exam is very technical.

Testing Center Essay closed book: This generally is the worst. You need to have read the material well enough to make connections and write intelligently. Spend your time on this one to get it right. After you get the first exam back you can find out what level of detail is required. In some cases you will not need to study all that much. Either way, essay questions are usually graded moderately. You'll never score that low. Usually bad answers are B's and good ones are A's. This isn't always the case but it is a general rule, just take heart that if you're not prepared for an essay question you wont score that low.

In class exams follow similar rules to the testing center answers. The only difference is you need to realize that time is limited in the class so there will be less information on the test and essay questions will be shorter. When you take an in class exam it will generally be easier. Also, always look at the point value of questions and answer the high point value ones first. If there are essay questions combined with multiple choice do the essays first. If time becomes short you can't write an essay at the last minute but you can fill in bubbles at the last minute.

Essays: When you have a final essay for a class make sure you start the essay the day it is given. I'm not saying that you should be productive and actually get much done. You just need to get over that initial hurdle and start the project. Once you start you'll have read the instructions and your mind will start playing with the idea when you have free time. Just looking at the requirements outside of class gives you a great start. So, start early. You'll be glad you did. Even if it's just a sentence you'll be amazed at how much that helps in the long run. And then get the paper done whenever you can. In my case that is generally at the last minute.



My hands are tired so I wont go on. I think the best advice you can get is to enjoy learning. If you love the subject the grades will come. But, since life is rarely friendly to such idealism, the next best advice is to make school a game and learn how to play it. This tutorial is written from the perspective of school as a game. People who take school too seriously over study and do poorly. Either love it or make it fun...never loathe it or make it duty--your grades will show it if you do.

Good luck in your classes everyone! Good luck with finals!