Burning CDs

Hey all,
So, lately I've been burning a lot of CDs and I just thought I'd post about the proper way to create and distribute burnt CDs. I've been burning CDs since back in the day when burners cost over 300 dollars and Napster was legal. Keep in mind what I relate here is just opinion, but it's opinion in a sense similar to my opinion that it would have been a good idea to buy Microsoft stock in 1986.

CD creation:

Song 1

When you burn a CD you need to start with a grabber. The first song should be catchy and somewhat recognizable. It should be a song that makes people say "hey I like this song, wonder what else is on this CD." You don't want this song to be your best song. This song should be like a first date: short, fun, shallow, but interesting enough to keep someone around.

Song 2

Song 2 is all about showing the breadth of the CD. You got the fun grabber taken care of, now that you've got some interest you need to show some dimension. You don't want to go all crazy and emo on your listeners or anything, you just wanna show them something a little edgy so they know you're not making some trite, teeny bopper-esque, soda pop swilling, bubble gum chewing, piece of pop trash.

Song 3

This song is meant to be a fun one, perhaps the most exciting of the entire CD. Song 1 grabbed them, song 2 showed some depth, and now song 3 is meant to get back on track and escalate the CD to new levels of supernalacity (new word, tell your friends).
Song 4

In baseball your fourth batter is your best hitter---your cleanup. Similarly, on a CD the fourth song should be the best you have to offer. This is the most important song on the CD. Make sure it's your favorite. This is the song where you just put it out there and say "Yeah, that's right. This CD rocks. You've never heard a CD this good before. You might want to stop listening now... unless you have an extremely high tolerance for awesomeness."

Song 5

Song 5 is kinda introspective, sometimes it's a bit Indy. This is the song that you're not quite sure you understand, it's a little bit out of sync with the rest of the CD...but this is okay cause you've already won their hearts with song 4 so they can take it.

Now, the rest of the songs can be of any particular type and feel all the way up to the last song or two.

The last song should be your conclusion, it should be a little bit slower, but fun enough that people will want to give the CD another listen. Kinda like the closing remarks of a paper, you should use this time to tie your loose ends up. I am of the opinion that the last song should be a bit nostalgic or pensive, but even tempoed and melodic enough that you don't end the CD depressed.

Now that you've made the CD you need to name it. I personally like funny names but I've seen people work other types. You want the title to be descriptive enough that you know what you're getting into, but you should leave some room for the imagination. If you're really struggling for creativity you can just name the CD after the title of song#4. Don't be afraid to pompously label your CD in ways that suggest it's better than all other CDs burnt to date.

CD Dissemination:

Okay, now that you've made the CD you're the lucky owner of the greatest CD ever, but you don't wanna just sit on that joy. It's kinda like missionary work, you've got something beautiful, it must be shared.

Now, here are some warnings.

1) Never give a CD to someone when you don't trust their taste in music. It is a sin to cast pearls before swine.

2) Rarely, if ever, give CDs to someone of the opposite gender. There are 3 main exceptions. 1) you're dating them seriously, 2) it's a greatest hit CD 3) they give you a list of songs they want. The reason you shouldn't give CDs to the opposite gender is they project meaning onto the songs you pick. For example, if you make a CD for a girl and there is a song about not knowing how to express your love she'll think you're trying to tell her you love her but you don't know how. I've learned from sad experience that this is the case. The three exceptions I've listed are exceptions because they are the three instances when a CD can't be misconstrued as a subtle romantic overture....1 because they already know how you feel, 2) because a greatest hits CD is nothing more than a collection of that bands best music so the intent of the CD (to capture the band's greatness) is explicitly stated, and 3) they picked the songs so if there is a subtle statement it's coming from them, not you.

For the most part it's best to just give people greatest hits CDs. I usually burn about 3 extra copies of a greatest hits CD to share with friends that I know enjoy the band.

Okay, I think I'm done writing now. Happy burning!