Vampires

I thought I'd begin today's post by making a seemingly ridiculous statement, and then spend the rest of the post justifying that seemingly ridiculous statement into a semblance of coherence.

Here goes:

Having a friend that's a girl is sorta like a dhampir.

(For those who aren't up to date on their mythology, a dhampir is a half-human and half-vampire hybrid)

In mythology, a hybrid usually goes one of two ways. Sometimes you get a hybrid that has all the strengths of both. For a dhampir this is a creature resistant to garlic, able to walk in the daylight, but also with the strength and powers of a vampire. All the pros and none of the cons.

However, there is a flip side. Sometimes you get a hybrid with the weaknesses of both. For a damphir, this means a sad creature that is humanly weak, open to sickness, is compelled to drink blood but is too physically weak to procure it through force...and is vulnerable to sunlight, garlic, and any of the other weakness vampires have in that mythology.

So, dhampirs either have the strengths of both sides or the weaknesses of both sides.

Given that, this is why they're like having a friend that's a girl.

Sometimes you have a friend that's a girl and she gives you insight from the other side. In many ways she's like having a friend that's a guy, but with all the insight of the opposite gender. It's like having a friend behind enemy lines. This sort of girl you can be straight with, talk to almost like one of the boys, and you don't have to worry about offending her or romantic etiquette. You can just be yourself. This sort of girl has all the strengths of a guy-friend, but she also has all the powers and insight of a girl. It's an amazing combination, the best of both halves of a hybrid.

Sadly, much like the dhampir, there is a dark side to this hybrid. Sometimes you have a friend that's a girl that has the weaknesses of both sides. You can't really talk to them after a while because you suspect they like you, or you might suspect you like them, or they suspect you like them when you really don't, or you suspect that they suspect you like them and you really don't...and any other combination of the "will they or won't they" dilemma that has been putting food on the table of romantic comedy writers for as long as the genre has existed.

This is a horrible thing. You can't be honest, friendly, or even sometimes supportive, because the threat of a relationship stands between you at all times. So, this sad little hybrid has none of the "jeans and t-shirt" sorta support you get from your friends, but also none of the excitement and mystery you get from a relationship. You get the worst of both situations...just like the poorly mixed dhampir.

Anyway, that's the thought have for you this morning. I realize it isn't very practical, and it exposes a far too intimate knowledge of vampire taxonomy. But nevertheless, that's what I was thinking about.

Now I better go be more productive.

Have a great day.