Car Dealerships

I've decided I hate car dealerships. Yesterday I picked up the settlement check for my car and as I was driving back I decided to stop by a dealership with a huge "used cars" sign in front. I walked into the lobby and while I waited for someone to notice me I stared at the floor model: a pristine Porsche. The car was really beautiful, and staring at it (and it's price tag) reminded me of my flaccid economic strength (weird sentence I know, it just came out that way).

Eventually a salesperson came out. He was a slightly effeminate man who spoke with a lisp. He was also slightly overweight, and he had really rosy cheeks...so red I think I'm gonna diagnose him as having rosacea. He introduced himself and said his name (although he was wearing a tag) and then I said my name. A few minutes later he asked my name again, and (I guess to be fair) he once again (and unnecessarily) supplied his. Comforted that our circumstances and identities remained unchanged, we proceeded to the car lot.

Now, for a place with such a huge "used cars" sign this place really didn't have that many used cars. I told him my price range and he brought me over to cars that sold for that amount (there were 6). First, he showed me a Chevy Malibu. The car was a 2002 with 110k miles. He began extolling the virtues of the wonderful machine and I told him, "well, I just drove a Malibu, I know what it's like. This is the same year mine was."

He didn't listen to me and he kept going through his spiel. I interrupted him once, but I could tell he wasn't very sharp, and his memorizing this bit might was something he was proud of, ,so I let him go on and I waited patiently. At the end he asked if he should get the keys for a test drive. I told him there wasn't any need, and then he left to get the keys.

When he came back he got into the car, turned it on, and drove it about 5 feet. I could see dark smoke rising from the tailpipe (bad sign for a car..usually means the engine is going). I didn't point this out, I just asked him how much the car was going for. He said 6 thousand.

I laughed.

I unfortunately knew exactly what that car is worth. My car was in better condition, with lower mileage, my car was the V6, and my car had tinted windows...and the insurance company appraised it at 4.3k. The insurance companies get their amount by finding similar cars that have sold in the last 90 days and then averaging the amount. Now, insurance companies definitely pick the cheapest cars that are similar to your car and then do some cheating to make your car come out as low as possible...but 4.3k was a pretty fair estimate for a Malibu in inferior condition to my own...so, hearing 6k caught me off guard and made me laugh.

He asked what was so funny. I felt sorta bad for laughing in front of him, but I didn't really care too much since he was so blatantly trying to take advantage of me.

I thought for a second about how to answer his question. I ended up saying, "I'm sorry, I just wasn't ready for that price. "

He said "well, we can work with you on the price, or you could lease it."

I said "oh no, that's not necessary, I just know what this car is worth, and it's definitely not worth 6 thousand. And if you know your job you know it's not worth 6 thousand. So, I can only think you either don't know your job, or your you do know your job and your job is to take advantage of me."

I told him that I really had no interest to look at any other cars since we'd started off so bad, but I felt sorta bad for my frankness, so when he asked if he could have my number to call me if anything came up I said yes. He walked me into his office to write it down (so I entered the lion's den). Once in there he started looking for more cars at sister dealerships. I told him I was just there to give him my number, and then he had his supervisor come in. The supervisor once again said "your insurance settlement would be a nice downpayment on a new car" and I once again told them that I had no interest in getting a nice new car, I just needed transportation, and I wanted to get my new car for less than or equal to my settlement value.

They came at me from a few other ways. I started to get annoyed. The new guy said "we could get you into a Jetta. There is a Jetta we just bought in the other lot.

I told him "no thanks, where I come from Jettas are considered a girl's car."

The effeminate man who first made contact with me (who coincidentally had the unisex name Jamie) said "well, I drive a Jetta."

So I told him, "well, where I come from you drive a girl's car." I laughed so it came across as a joke (hopefully). I wasn't very patient anymore since they weren't being very forthright. I came into the shop to give my number and nothing more...and they weren't letting me go.

They tried a few more cars and eventually I had to be very frank. I said,"listen, I've been polite, I've listened to you, and you haven't listened to me. I said I want to buy a car for what my previous car was worth, and you keep trying to upsell me, so let me just be straightforward--I'm not buying a car today."

I got up and left (and walked past the glimmering Porsches on my way out).

Those guys were slimy. The force they exert on customers is unethical (but probably effective).

They push and push and they phrase questions in such a way that social propriety requires the buyer to either break social norms or get steamrolled.

After I left that dealership I went to another across the street. The moment I got out of my rental car a nice elderly gentleman pounced on me. He asked what I needed, I told him I needed a car (I can't imagine another reason why someone would drive to a car lot). Looking back he probably meant "what sort of car do you need"...but I guess my unfortunate habit of picking the least likely interpretation to a statement once again reared its ugly head.

He asked my price range, I told him, and he brought me over to a 2005 Malibu. When he said the car was a 2005 I was sorta surprised because the car was the same body styling as my old Malibu, and that styling changed in 2005 to the current more boxier styling. I told him it couldn't be a 2005 cause I'd driven a 2005 and that was the new styling. He said "well let me check" and then he looked at the paper that they'd written all the facts on and said "yep, see, we wrote 2005 there."

So, I guess since they wrote it on paper it must be true. I said "well, if it's a 2005 then that means that Chevy produced both styles of Malibu the same year. I find that hard to believe, but then again I'm not about to question the write up you guys made on the car and it clearly says 2005 on that piece of paper....hmmm, very strange."

(side note, there should be a "it's in a book fallacy." Basically this fallacy is when people assert something is true because they saw it in print...but I digress)

We walked around for a bit and I realized that I wasn't going to have any luck. But then at the last minute he showed me a 2007 Chevy Cobalt coupe. It was a beautiful car with 30k miles on it and a perfect paint job (even if the color was the brightest yellow I've ever seen). He asked if I wanted to drive it, and that's when I panicked.

You see, I learned how to drive a stick about 12 years ago. The last time I drove a stick was on New Year's 'cause I needed to shuttle some inebriated friends home. I haven't driven a stick since then, and I've never had a manual of my own. So, every time I get into a manual I sorta have this moment of trepidation, I know that there is a good chance I'll stall the car before I get a feel for it...cause I have no muscle memory for driving a manual.

I told him that I didn't need to since two of my family members have a Cobalt and that car was out of my price range anyway. He then dropped the price by 2 thousand dollars and told me that there were other people looking at it.

I said "well, I wish them will with it. I'm sure it will be a good car for them. But, if things fall through and all the people interested don't buy, I might talk with you in a few days."

I could tell he didn't want me to leave the lot so he dropped the price another 500...but I really didn't have the means to make the purchase right then (I hadn't even deposited the check yet)...so I walked away but I had him write down the price and put his name next to it so I could get the price he had quoted me later.

(sidenote, this next paragraph was going to begin with the word "I" but then I realized that the last three paragraphs also began with the word "I." ....it's sorta bad form to begin every paragraph with the word "I" ...oh, what the heck....)

I drove away sorta frustrated with the whole experience. Car salesmen are snakes (sorry feminists...car salespeople). These guys (sorry, gals also) are oily (and that's literal, I don't know why they all sweat so much and have such shiny skin), they're dishonest, and they're pushy. If I had money to waste they might have ended up with some of it.

Well, hopefully some of the deals I've found online will pan out. This is the first time in over a decade that I've been without a car. I feel weird....my wings are clipped.

Anyway, I'll keep you posted as things develop. Have a wonderful day.